drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary


sing my angel of music

I've been reading a diary from a woman who sings opera... it really made me remember what I love about performing. A quote: "The best part of a performance is not the applause. It is that hushed moment before the applause starts. That moment of silence when the song ends that is there because the listeners (and in my case) as well as the artist need a moment to come back to earth."

Ain't that the truth. I love it when someone perfectly articulates a thought that wasn't fully formed in my head yet is somehow exactly it.

I love that adrenaline rush I get when I step onto the stage, praying that everything will go well, hoping I can remember the words, feeling nervous, excited, scared shitless, cocky, and awe-filled all rolled into one. That ripple that goes through the crowd as they hear those first few notes that tells them, this is something different. I can't believe that I have the chance to one day fill an enormous theatre with my voice. The one I hear in the shower every morning. I really want to work hard for this. I want to be one of those great divas. God, that crazy feeling of being totally exposed, at the mercy of fate, at the point of no return. I'm either gonna suck or blow them away. Man that came out weird. I suppose my brain is a little preoccupied these days. That's what comes of being celebate! :)

I'm still working on Quando m'en vo, I'm just starting to work on Someone to Watch Over Me, which is awesome. It was in Mr. Holland's Opus, and it always seemed to me to be a real ingenue song. Oh, and I also started Alleluia from Mozart, which fortunately I know by heart after listening to Heidi sing it over and over again. It's difficult. Lots of quick runs. Fun, though.

I'd forgotten that singing is like medicine. I can be pissed off at the world and go lock myself in my room and sing along to Phantom or Butterfly, and nothing can touch me. The sound of my own voice calms me. I guess that sounds egotistical, but I don't mean it that way.

If my throat weren't the size of a bulldozer right now I'd go and take my own advice.

8:06 p.m. - 2003-06-16


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