drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary

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auuughhhh!!!

It's like the song. I want a boyfriend.

This will never work. He wants to keep everything the same, except with monogamy thrown in. Probably because he was jealous.

Today we went to the birthday party of a really nice older man who's been a big fixture in town. He plays the piano for chorus, and used to give me lessons. I say 'we' but it wasn't really 'we'. We'd been hanging out, then got into separate cars and drove there separately (and staggered our arrival times). Mostly because of Heidi being there, but I'm sure that wasn't all of it.

He spent almost the whole time drinking a beer and talking to Heidi and his mother (who is ferociously devoted to Heidi).

My point is, I want a boyfriend. Someone who is not afraid to be seen with me, who is proud of me and wants everyone to know he is in love with me, someone with whom I can be seen and not arouse the jealousy of every female in the room from ages 12-75.

What really pissed me off tonight is that he was talking to my mother (my family was at the party as well) about me driving Roxie the other day. She was being polite and asking questions, and he was trying to banter with her, and she said, "It's hard having someone else drive you around, have control, isn't it?" And he said, "Yeah. Especially if they're not a good driver."

Now how, I ask you, is that merited? Granted, he was trying to banter, but for fuck's sake, that's going a little overboard, isn't it? I am a good driver. He thanked me profusely afterwards for driving him around and complimented me on how great I did. And he was asleep the whole time anyway. What a bastard.

Am I just pulling my usual stupid shtick? Once I get what I want I realize I don't want it anyway? Or is this just growing pains?

8:39 p.m. - 2004-03-20

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