drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary


what i've been up to

I'm in California. Lake Tahoe, to be more precise. I'd volunteer exactly where I was for the sake of absolute preciseness but I don't want my hordes of crazy psyscho fans to descend upon me screaming for autographs and the like. Plus I don't really know where I am more precisely. Which couldn't possibly have been a legal sentence.

We survived Disneyland. Disneyland is perhaps my most favoritest place on Earth. So far. It is lovely.

I think the reason I idolize Disneyland so much is because I used to go there all the time when I was little. I think they call that 'branding'.

And I realized why I've wanted to go to New Orleans so badly, after reading about it so much. Disneyland's New Orleans Square is my second-favorite Disneyland town, after Fantasyland. It's thick with huge, gnarled trees, concrete sidewalks, the river with the huge ferry boat nearby, and beautiful, slightly sinister Victorian architecture. And it's home to two of my favorite rides- The Haunted Mansion and Pirates of the Caribbean. The pleasures of both were slightly dimmed this year, however, for two different reasons. I will proceed to explain them to you.

The Pirates of the Caribbean is obvious, of course. My childhood favorite has been soiled with Johnny Depp adoration. It used to be a slightly overlooked, quirky old ride. Now there are thousands of girls crowding it, hoping to see Johnny Depp waving at them from the tableau.

The Haunted Mansion has been Christmas-ated, just like It's A Small World (the mermaids were still intact, though, which excused everything. I woulda had to kick some decorator ass. Leave those mermaids alone, fool). Actually, it was The Nightmare Before Christmas-ated. Which meant it was a weird combination of Halloween and Christmas. Everything was changed. It's not like they just stuck Santa hats on everyone, they changed the whole ride. Harrumph.

But I saw Belle, Ariel, Snow White, Cinderella, Hook, The Wicked Queen, Cruella DeVille, Aurora, and several others. I watched Belle telling her story in Once Upon a Time, the Princess shop. There was a guy telling it with her, who was obviously a drama student, and fantastic besides. He kept looking over at me. After they were done I went up to him and said, "Wow, that was great." He thanked me, and we stood there for a minute. Then he said, "Do you work here?" I said, "No, but I'd love to!"

He said I'd reminded him of someone he knew. I was hoping he mistook me for one of the princesses. I've decided that I'm going to run off and be one of the princesses. They all look the same, like me. People have told me I could be one. This idea consumed my mind all throughout the visit. I liked to go up to the autograph lines and stand by the princesses and watch what they did. Frank thinks I should be The Wicked Queen.

Last night I dreamt that I was in a show, and before I went this girl, who was totally unhinged, slit my wrists with a big long shiny knife. I had to wear bandages. Thomas rescued me. I don't know why.

The night before I left, JR and I talked on the phone for hours. I heard those words I've been waiting to hear for ages. No, not those, but close enough. "Too late." Without any prompting.

His house is haunted. It was very active the night before I left. Sounds all over the place. Footsteps. I was standing next to him by the kitchen, talking to him, when I heard footsteps on the stairs up to the loft, right by me. I saw something shadowy, right where the sound was coming from. I practically jumped into his arms.

For some weird reason, we both got the feeling that that would be the last time I'd be there.

My personal theory is that it's the last time we'll be there with any pretenses about our feelings for each other. A sort of goodbye, if you will. Which sounds stupid when I put it into words...but I keep having this feeling that things will be better when I get back. That he will finally admit that he's in love with me.

I'm sorry about this entry. I'm disappointed in it, myself. I'd put it in time-out but I don't have the patience.

1:05 p.m. - 2003-12-21


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