drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary


fate, life, the universe, sushi, angels, and everything

This morning I step out of the shower and my cell phone rings. It's Nicole, our director. "Sarah, can you play Mary in two hours?"

Yep, you read that right. And I did.

At first I was being really modest about it, but now I'm like, fuck that. It's fucking amazing.

I memorized all her lines and blocking, and, nervous as all hell, pulled it off without a hitch.

Having said that, I did know some of it from walking around hearing the lines being read, and I'd also read it through a couple times before, the other day, thinking I'd have to be Mary and deciding I should look it over.

But there's a big difference from, "I've been around all the time, I know all the lines," to "I can actually go onstage as this character and pull it off".

There is nothing cooler than saving the day. I was on an adrenaline high all day. People were telling me, "You were born to play that role..." "It seems like you've been playing that forever..." and I overheard one little girl saying, "She looks like the real Mary..." (meaning the film Mary, I guess...) JR added (whispering), "You were way better, and consequently I was better today too," to the mix.

Nicole and Elena got two cakes for me, and they lit candles and everybody sang Happy Birthday (in advance). It was so sweet, I thought I'd explode from euphoria. I entertained the thought that Maddy had checked herself into the hospital temporarily as a birthday present, but dismissed it. I don't think she'd have gone that far. But today couldn't have gone more perfectly.

I felt like a princess.

Then we went to the resturant from last night, and had sushi and poke, and went to JR's where we ended up having philosophical discussions that digressed into supernatural discussions.

I heard some freaky-weird shit tonight.

Nicole met her guardian angels. One day she had an urge to go to a national park. Not being an outdoorsy kind of girl, she was thrown a little but went with it. She found a tour and went along with them. When it came time for the group to head towards the woods and not towards the beach, she felt an urge to go to the beach. She decided it was silly to part from the group, she didn't want to be alone...so she tried to continue. When she took a step forward, she felt nauseous. And dizzy. She took a step backwards and felt fine. This continued for a while, and then she sat down. After a while, she got up and walked towards the beach. She walked by two people, a woman and a man. The woman was seated on a bench, and the man was circling the bench on a bicycle. They both stared at her with big grins on their faces. She asked if a certain trail lead to the beach, and they replied that it did. But they warned her not to go there. "It's forty five minutes, an hour, it's really hard." But after much back-and-forth, she said, "No, I think I'll go." Even though she was terrified. So she did, and when she came back they were gone. She'd survived, she'd faced her fears. And the hike was easy, and only fifteen minutes. When I asked her why she thought they'd tried to deter her, she said, "It was a test."

Two years later, she was in a relationship, and the man just broke her heart. She got on a train, and this couple sat next to her. They got up one after the other, both staring at her with huge grins on their faces. When they left, she saw they'd left a huge pile of newspapers. She was about to pick one up when she decided against it. As she left, she glanced down at one of them, and in ink, circled, scrawled across the top newspaper, was the man's last name. "A very unusual Italian name," she added. And, as she thought about it, she realized it was the same couple from the beach.

Adrienne, on the other hand, was in New Mexico. She was staying in this room and her roommate hadn't arrived and she didn't know anyone. She said she felt like the walls were talking. There was movement, energy. As soon as she'd thought it, the lamp turned on. She turned it off, then stared at it and thought, 'did that just turn on as I thought that the walls were talking?' and it turned on again. She started getting creeped out. She unplugged the lamp, and, lo and behold, it turned on again. So finally she threw it in the closet and said, "Don't do that again or I will scream."

Later she said her friend, who'd been there, said upon hearing the story, "Oh, didn't you know? That was a center for people with tuberculosis. They were happy you were there and just wanted to communicate."

It was unplugged.

Dooo deeee dooo....

I believe in fate, I believe things happen for a reason, and I believe that we're watched out for.

Why, just the other night I was praying that I might get a chance to play Mary. "Oh, please...I'd really love to...please let me..." I do that a lot, especially when I think the situation's really hopeless. To no avail, though. Maddy was going on anyway.

But I got the chance today, and now that I think about it, it really couldn'tve been more perfect. Heidi could only attend opening night, so I wouldn't have wanted to be Mary opening night. I'd be having to kiss JR right in front of her, onstage. Several times. And Maddy got her opening night, that's nice. Plus! Even though it would have been easier to have had more time to practice (which I would have had if it had been Friday or Saturday, rather than today, Sunday, a matinee), I get to say I learned the part of Mary in under two hours. And we filmed today. So I even get a souvenir.

See? Everything works out for the best. I have to keep remembering that.

10:20 p.m. - 2003-12-07


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