drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary


renouncing this

After Heidi called me up totally drunk on Thanksgiving to apologize profusely (and messily) for everything that's happened and ended up sobbing uncontrollably over the phone, almost breaking my heart, I've come to a decision.

Case in point: Heidi wanted to apologize for "What he said yesterday. I didn't mean it, I just was feeling really horrible and I told him to..."

Wait. What? I have no idea what you're talking about.

"You know, yesterday."

I don't remember talking about anything you should be sorry for yesterday. What was he supposed to tell me?

"He told me he told you it's over between you guys."

And I'm sitting on the phone, listening to a drunken Heidi slobbering, "Oh, but it doesn't matter, it's okay, I just feel bad about everything..." and digress into, "I can't handle that he's found someone already. Someone more. Just...more. Do you know what I mean?" (No, I don't.) "Prettier, more talented, smarter...it kills me..." and then proceed to completely disintegrate into, "It's so fresh, and I'm not ready to let him go, Sarah, I just can't let him go," delivered in a high, teary, sincere voice, and I thought of all the times I've cried over him and the things he's done to me and I realized that this is bullshit.

JR does not deserve either one of us, and he certainly does not deserve both of us.

3:31 p.m. - 2003-11-28


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