drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary

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mmmemories

Last St. Patrick's Day JR and I took off, unbeknownst to anyone, in his Camaro and drove and drove, and found ourselves near the ocean. So we hiked out, and found the edge. It was a rocky cliff, over the ocean. We sat there talking and talking. The ocean was sapphire blue and sparkling and crystal clear and spraying salt water lightly. It was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever seen. We were so high up, pine needles sprinkling the ground, the wind cooling us off, generously shaded by pine trees gently dropping said needles. Surrounded by all this lavish beauty, we talked and laughed and joked and then all of a sudden found ourselves disturbingly serious.

It was then that I knew that what we had was something special, whatever it was. Friendship. Even better. Not love, but...well, for want of a better word, sameness.

I think it's special and it always will be, but I want memories and friendship, not a weird, dysfunctional relationship that can only bring pain to everyone. I love Heidi, and I won't even think about hurting her.

If my writing is stilted, it's because I am simultaneously watching the Disney channel. Shut up. It's because the computer is next to the TV and my sisters wanted to watch it. Really.

7:27 p.m. - 2003-08-04

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