drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary


creation is fragile

I feel a little better. Having something to work on made me feel better. I feel creative, even if I'm only rearranging nonsense gibberish in my html template thing.

I really want to start drawing again, it's the other thing that gives me this sense of well-being and the feeling that I've worked hard and created something beautiful. But part of the joy in this html thing is that I feel smart for having figured it out even though I've never been taught it. That cool feeling of scrolling through and going, "ahhh, so that's it. That's why it's not turning into a star when you move your mouse over it..." etc.

I feel really really breakable these days. Fragile. Like blown glass.

I'm still a little bit sick. I've decided that it's a pyschological flu. I'm in a funk and my body's shutting down. Or something. It sounds good. :)

I haven't been able to sing. It's really impacted me. I hadn't realized how utterly important to my well-being the ability to sing actually is. It's coming back, slowly.

Last night I felt so at odds with myself. It was like my body was rejecting all my vital organs. They're defective. Get some new ones.

Life is slowly driving me crazy. I'm just hanging on.

8:32 a.m. - 2003-07-01


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