drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary

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fuck you

I know I wrote about this subject before, but so help me, you're getting it again.

Consensus seems to be that I am in danger of getting fat. Yes, I got another comment. That coworker, Nani, who talks incessantly and without pause the entire four hours we have to work together, decided that she needed to describe my body type to me. "You know, you have big bones. I mean, you're a big girl. Yeah. You're probably going to have to watch what you eat when you're older. I mean, you look at your face and you look like a little girl, and then you look down and it's like, 'woah! you a woman!'" (yes, this woman uses horrifyingly bad grammar. Most of the time I'm paraphrasing for readability). "You know those opera singers...". Then Chelsea (who I've discovered actually has a heart of gold) said, "Yeah, I'm big boned too." And Nani, distressed, said, "Yeah, but you're, you know. I mean, I would say you're a medium girl. But you, Sarah, you're a big girl." To which Chelsea said, "The only difference between Sarah and I is the chest" (which is not absolutely true, but I appreciate it). A point which Nani couldn't really refute, so she started telling me I should be a model. In Playboy. She was like, "Yeah, you know, maybe you could be in Playboy, that magazine..." and I said, "Yeah, maybe NOT." I was so angry at her (not least for just assuming I'd be willing to sell my body for money [I mean, granted, in the depths of extreme poverty, the thought has occured, but really ;)]). What the fuck is wrong with some people? Why do people feel the need to lump people together, to define body types? I mean, who the fuck does she think she is? I was tempted to compare waist measurements. So what if I'm shaped like an hourglass and stand about two feet taller than you do? I KNOW what my body looks like. I see it in the mirror every day (okay, several times a day. Narcissistic, remember?). I am in no dire need of a reality check. I don't pretend to be anything other than curvy. And I happen to like my body. Is that such a crime? It's taken me years and lots of pain to cultivate this sentiment and it's not all that strong yet, so I'd appreciate it if all those fucking idiots could just lay off!

It was weird, it was like it disturbed me and yet it didn't. I mean, I knew that she was being stupid. I know that my body is acceptable. I guess it was that she just said it. Just like that. Thinking it was her right, her business. And had the nerve to tell me I will probably need to go on a diet when I'm older? Excuse fucking me. I have a perfect right to get as fat as I want to. I don't intend to, but if I wanted to, screw you, I'm perfectly entitled.

I know I've said this a million times, but why can't the world accept everyone as beautiful? No matter what body type they have. I mean, just as anorexia is sad and not at all attractive in itself, so is extreme obesity. But if they're not at a health risk, why can't you leave them alone? People KNOW what they look like!

2:22 p.m. - 2003-06-24

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