drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary


touch me

I wish I could be the flawed, yet lovable heroine in a Sundance film festival film. The one who is so different from regular heroines that you can't help but love her right off, and of course as you are exposed to her infallible humor and well-placed eye-rolls you only grow to love her even more. I guess what it all comes down to is I want to be loved. Love me!

I am speaking, of course, of Ana from Real Women Have Curves. What a beautiful girl. I'm as straight as they come, but man, she's gorgeous. When I say something like that, I mean it in the man-I-wish-I-could-look-like-her kind of way. I also really want her boyfriend.

There is a scene in which loveable Ana wakes up in the middle of the night after her first kiss, and her eyes flutter open and she look around a bit, and then it comes back to her and she smiles faintly, and looks content, and falls back asleep. It was absolutely beautiful in its utter naked truth. That is how it is. That sweet feeling that no one can take away.

I am starting to feel more competent than some of the other people at my job. This disturbs me because I have been working there for roughly 1/1000 of the time they have. I feel I am ready for bigger and better things. Yessiree bob, perhaps I shall try my hand at sign-painting. Or jump-roping for heart.

I have become addicted to reading other people's diaries. I think it's the human contact, however filtered, that thrills me. Fuck, I need to go to school.

I just want to be acknowledged!

10:13 p.m. - 2003-06-18


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