drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary



You know what? I'm not going to waste time on him.

Ha! Easier said than done. I wrote him (at the suggestion of my mom) a really really nasty letter condemning all his bad qualities (I remembered quite a bit...I'm still not done, hee hee) and telling him how much I hate him, and now it seems to have lifted off me. I feel kinda bad for yelling at him last night. Not too bad, because after all I meant everything I said and he deserved it and it's about time someone gave him some fucking feedback. But now that I think about it...I guess I don't really care if he replaced me so quickly and so coldly. You know? 'Cause I've been there. I know how it is to want someone and try to project it onto someone else to feel better. If that's what it was. It is also more than entirely possible that he just never gave a fuck about me, in which case I still don't care because I know he wasn't who I thought he was, and if that was the case...he was just a stupid retard who isn't worth my time. It's so weird to have spent so much time together, to have opened up completely, and then realized that I don't know him at all and I never did. I feel icky, dirty, unclean. Like I want to erase him completely because I put myself in the hands of a complete stranger. How stupid was that?

But how can we ever know anyone?

9:34 p.m. - 2003-06-06


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