drunkencynic's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- i deserve this I'm happy. I know I keep saying it but it's been so foreign to me lately. It's almost like I feel like I don't deserve it. There's a part of me that keeps trying to remind the rest of me that I'm actually a bad person deep down and have no right to the happiness that the rest of the world is entitled to. I've even caught myself protesting, to something or other he said, "No, I don't deserve it..." which made me think. Wait a second. Why don't I? Okay, I fucked up in the past, but so has everyone. I've done nothing to this guy. I'm okay. I'm actually okay. I feel good, I'm having fun for the first time in months. I never knew before how great it is to be sixteen, to have the world as your oyster (what kind of freak coined that phrase anyway?). 7:53 p.m. - 2002-12-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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